中國(guó)家庭并不常用電話答錄機(jī)(AnsweringMachine)，但在北美家庭，幾乎家家都用。外來(lái)電話撥入時(shí)，若該電話號(hào)碼的主人不在，就會(huì)讓撥入者聽(tīng)到一段留言，這叫Answer。絕大多數(shù)的Answer都是千篇一律的：說(shuō)明主人不在，請(qǐng)撥入者留下簡(jiǎn)短信息及姓名電話號(hào)碼等。

　　以下幾則特別的Answer體現(xiàn)了美國(guó)人的幽默，你能體會(huì)出其幽默所在嗎?

　　1)MywifeandIcan’tcometothephonerightnow，butifyou’llleaveyournameandnumber，we’llgetbacktoyouassoonaswe’refinished.

　　2)Hi.ThisisJohn.Ifyouarethephonecompany，Ialreadysentthemoney.Ifyouaremyparents，pleasesendmoney.Ifyouaremyfinancialaidinstitution，youdidn’tlendmeenoughmoney.Ifyouaremyfriends，youowememoney.Ifyouareafemale，don’tworry，Ihaveplentyofmoney.

　　3)Hi，I’mnothomerightnowbutmyansweringmachineis，soyoucantalktoitinstead.Waitforthebeep(beep：主人的Answer講完以后，AnswerMachine會(huì)發(fā)出一聲beep，這時(shí)候來(lái)電話者就可以開(kāi)始留言了。).

　　4)Hi!John’sansweringmachineisbroken.Thisishisrefrigerator.Pleasespeakveryslowly，andI’llstickyourmessagetomyselfwithoneofthesemagnets(磁鐵).注：通常情況下，來(lái)電話者面對(duì)錄音講話都不太自然，所以語(yǔ)言往往很急促，三句兩句話就完了。這可苦壞了接聽(tīng)留言的主人，聽(tīng)多少遍都聽(tīng)不清留言者到底是誰(shuí)，講了些什么。對(duì)于母語(yǔ)非英文的人，這種感覺(jué)會(huì)更深。所以，以下這兩段幽默干脆就首先告訴電話撥入者，我的AnswerMachine不好使，你且慢慢來(lái)。

　　5)Hello，thisisSally’smicrowave.Heransweringmachinejusteloped(私奔)withhertapedeck(磁帶驅(qū)動(dòng)器)，soI’mstuckwithtakinghercalls.Say，ifyouwantanythingcookedwhileyouleaveyourmessage，justholdituptothephone.

　　6)Hello，youaretalkingtoamachine.Iamcapableofreceivingmessages.Myownersdonotneedsiding(墻板，壁板)，windows，orahottub(浴盆)，andtheircarpetsareclean.Theygivetocharity(慈善團(tuán)體)throughtheirofficeanddonotneedtheirpicturetaken.Ifyou’restillwithme，leaveyournameandnumberandtheywillgetbacktoyou.

　　7)Hi.Iamprobablyhome.I’mjustavoidingsomeoneIdon’tlike.Leavemeamessage，andifIdon’tcallback，it’syou.

　　8)Thisisnotanansweringmachine--thisisatelepathic(心靈感應(yīng)術(shù))thought-recordingdevice.Afterthetone，thinkaboutyourname，yourreasonforcallingandanumberwhereIcanreachyou，andI’llthinkaboutreturningyourcall.注：tone：與對(duì)第3)句beep的注釋含義完全一樣，主人的Answer講完以后，AnswerMachine會(huì)發(fā)出一聲beep，這時(shí)候來(lái)電話者就可以開(kāi)始留言了。

　　9)Hi，thisisGeorge.I’msorryIcan’tanswerthephonerightnow.Leaveamessage，andthenwaitbyyourphoneuntilIcallyouback.

　　10)Ifyouareaburglar(夜賊)，thenwe’reprobablyathomecleaningourweaponsrightnowandcan’tcometothephone.Otherwise，weprobablyaren’thomeandit’ssafetoleaveusamessage.

　　11)You’regrowingtired.Youreyelids(眼皮)aregettingheavy.Youfeelverysleepynow.Youaregraduallylosingyourwillpower(毅力)andyourabilitytoresistsuggestions.Whenyouhearthetoneyouwillfeelhelplesslycompelledto(感到無(wú)助而被迫做某事)leaveyourname，number，andamessage.

　　12)Pleaseleaveamessage.However，youhavetherighttoremainsilent.Everythingyousaywillberecordedandwillbeusedbyus.注：youhavetherighttoremainsilent：電影電視里警察出示逮捕令時(shí)常講的一句話。西方社會(huì)講究人權(quán)，任何疑犯在未審判之前不得認(rèn)為有罪，因而不能逼供、更不可拷打：他們有權(quán)保持沉默。

　　13)Hello，you’vereachedJimandSonya.Wecan’tpickupthephonerightnow，becausewe’redoingsomethingwereallyenjoy.Sonyalikesdoingitupanddown，andIlikedoingitlefttoright...realslowly.Soleaveamessage，andwhenwe’redonebrushingourteeth，we’llgetbacktoyou.